On March 6, 2008, we lost our son, our firstborn.

Devin was conceived via IVF (in-vitro fertilization) after nearly two years of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant. Our first IVF cycle did not work; our second gave us Devin. It was a rough journey emotionally and physically. Pregnancy made it all worthwhile. It seemed that finally life was working out and everything was falling into place. We learned at our "big" ultrasound that we were expecting a little boy.

Pregnancy was wonderful to me. I had morning sickness from 6 weeks until sometime after 20 weeks, but that didn’t dim my enthusiasm. I loved pretty much everything about being pregnant - I loved how my body changed and grew. Everyone commented on how I had a "glow." I’ve honestly never felt better in my body. I felt like I finally found my purpose, the one thing that I was made for. I appreciated this miracle that was taking place inside of me.

I loved this child before we ever conceived him, and I loved him more every day, with every kick and wiggle inside my body. It was amazing to push at the lump in my belly that was his foot, and have him push back. The evenings were our time together, when I relaxed in bed watching TV or typing on my laptop, that was when he'd wake up and move around. It took a while for Denis to be able to feel him kick, because he would "hide" from other people, going quiet the moment he heard anyone else's voice.

At 35 weeks and 5 days I had a regular appointment and for some reason I felt that something was off, something wasn’t right. Despite my unease I was not expecting what we found: there was no heartbeat. Our precious baby boy, the light of our lives, was gone. I was induced that day and gave birth to him on Thursday, March 6, 2008. He was beautiful, perfect. At least we got to hold him and say goodbye.

A piece of my heart died that day, a piece I will never get back. We know it will not always hurt as much as it does now... but it will always hurt. We will forever miss our precious baby boy, our firstborn son... our little Devin Alin.